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The PornHelp Blog

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On Letting Porn Be Porn.

10/25/2016

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Readers of this blog will be familiar with our penchant for wordsmith-ing (here and here, for instance). In today’s post, our semantic impulse fires once again to make another plaint.  And it’s this: please, oh please, can writers stop using the word “porn” to describe, well, everything?  Real estate porn, poverty porn, food porn, puppy porn.  It goes on and on.

Look here.  Porn (a.k.a. “pornography”, a.k.a. “wank mags”, a.k.a. “the internet” [just kidding!]) is a product principally designed to elicit a sexual response, most often for the purpose of aiding masturbation.  Yes, we’re aware of the argument that porn constitutes a form of creative, even artistic, expression.  Yes, we recognize some believe porn can be a therapeutic tool for (re)igniting passion in intimate relationships.  And, yes, we know there are genres of porn that may not elicit the slightest sexual arousal in any but the most niche communities of consumers.

But to paraphrase Potter Stewart’s classic observation, we know porn when we see it, and it ain’t pictures of grilled summer squash, five-bedroom townhouses, or baby Weimaraners.    

Don’t get us wrong.  We have no quarrel with using figurative language.  We are, after all, word geeks.  Our beef with the over-use of the “porn” trope is that it’s hackneyed, and, in this increasingly omnisexual culture, fraught with potential misunderstanding.  After all, there are plenty of folks for whom food porn is a real thing.  That is (and forgive us if you’re triggered here), they have a sexual interest in food-oriented erotica - movies of foreplay involving chocolate sauce, for example.  Likewise, one might reasonably refer to some types of BDSM content as “torture porn.” And, though we’d prefer not to dwell on it, straight-up “puppy porn” almost certainly exists out there in the deepest recesses of the inter-webs.

​We get why writers choose the word “porn” to describe content their readers might linger over obsessively.  “Ooh, look at that kitchen island!”  “Ahh, what a searing image of urban decay!”   But that’s lazy and cynical wordplay.  It leverages our innate response to titillation in order to communicate non-erotic ideas.  Surely, there are better ways to call attention to your snapshots of a mountainous cheeseburger dripping with savory fat than “Burger Porn”.   How about “Grass-fed Glory”, or “Your Next Heart Attack”?


We admit, we’re being a little tongue in cheek.  But, we’re also serious.  Calling anything visually stimulating a form of “porn” trivializes eroticism.   And it minimizes the significance of the deeply sexual, occasionally problematic, desire to consume actual pornography that so many of us feel.  Maybe we’re stretching here, but we wonder whether teasing the collective sex drive with non-porn “porn” again and again could even have a dampening effect on people’s innate response to erotic material, and whether that effect can be accounted for in vital research being done in the realm of human sexual response.  Similar to our observation about the word “addiction”, if “porn” describes almost anything, then it means almost nothing. 

So, here’s to letting porn be porn, and to writers everywhere showing a little more creativity in their word choices when they want us to click on their favorite puppy pics.  That is, unless, you know…yeah.  We’ll just leave it at that.
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On Turning Away from the Jumbotron.

10/4/2016

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Picture

In honor of the beginning of playoff baseball, here’s a true story:

A group of dads took their seven year-old sons to a professional baseball game.  They arrived at their seats in the right field bleachers during batting practice.  The home team’s stars dotted the field, shagging fly balls and stretching out.  A few even chatted with fans.  Just feet away, the starting pitcher warmed up in the bullpen.  The dads absorbed the setting in reverent awe, then turned excitedly to their sons to point out their favorite players.  But their sons ignored them.  Instead, the boys stood with their backs to the field, transfixed by the enormous video screen towering over the grandstand as it flashed images of the very same players they could watch, in the flesh, if only they turned around.  Nothing the dads did seemed to distract their sons from the screen for more than a few seconds.  

We’ve written before about the power of screen-based visual stimuli, but we think it’s a theme worth revisiting.  Many who struggle with problematic porn use have a history of prioritizing screens over lived experience from a young age.  Perhaps this resulted from a predisposition for compulsive behavior, evolved as a coping mechanism for trauma, or took root in something else entirely.  Whatever the origin of our attraction to screens, we, too, found ourselves compelled to stare at the Jumbotron at the ballgame.  We also felt panic and anger when our parents pulled us away from our video games.  We relied on aimlessly surfing cable channels and web sites as a way to tune out stress.  We felt an inexplicable craving to fight the losing battle of keeping up with email and social media.  It’s small wonder that internet pornography, a particularly powerful visual stimulus, caught, held, and eventually demanded our obsessional attention.  

The struggle against our seemingly-autonomic response to screens can feel overwhelming at times.  The darn things are everywhere, and to some degree we cannot (and should not) avoid them.  And yet, there’s something powerful about seeing others turn away from the lived world in favor of the virtual one that can prompt us to re-confront our predilections.  Breaking out of our conditioning for screens may even require seizing on those moments and responding them with action.  We might strike up a conversation about what we’ve observed.  We might write a journal entry or a blog post (natch).  Or, though it might pain us to do it, we might turn off the playoff game, take our child outside, and have a catch.  In those moments, we weaken the hold screens once had on our lives, and lessen the chance they'll hold sway over those we love.  Surely, that’s cause for hope.


If you struggle with screens or are worried about someone who does, the resources collected here may help.

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